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Daniel Jones " To Infinity and Beyond! "
 
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Dear Friends,
 
I want to grow a large Stache. I need to grow a large Stache. I yearn fortnightly for the Stache of brilliance!! I silently dream of growing the perfection personified during uncontrollable crying fits as I sit listlessly in my dark, powerless Biringer Model working by candlelight on the second edition of my epic poem, "Paradise Lost - Midgets, Bourbon, & Ron Burgandy -The M4K Richmond Growing Season of Yesteryear."
 
During my weekly oratory at the Swedish Institute, my lute
lessons, my lawn bowling practices, my late night "strategy
sessions" with Generalissimo Enrique Najgoldberg and his "Viva
Libertad y Viva La Revolucion" Freedom Fighters, and even
when I am quelling violent rebellion at the various sweat-shops
that I own in Paraguay, Uruguay, and Southern New Jersey, I
find myself thinking of one thing – Hardwood Brewery and the infamous Lipbrau beer….
 
Alas, even during a special luncheon in honour of Nobel Prize
Winner Nelson Mandella, where I was the keynote speaker and
recipient of the Avery Medal for my volunteerism with the blind,
syphilitic midgets of Sri Lanka, I found my remarks vacillating
between 3rd World Debt Relief and the chances of hobnobbing at The Stache Bash in the hopes of glimpsing Ron Swanson.
 
Further, during the laminectomy that I am to perform on the
Sultan of Brunei this November Month at the Mayo Clinic, I fear that my
thoughts my wander to thoughts of Beer and Tom Selleck, reducing
the expert strokes of my scalpel.
 
To Infinity and Beyond!
 
Yours,
 
Daniel Jones
 
post script - I must also note that this mandatory “Growing Season”
has also interfered with my planned summit ascent at
Mt. Everest. Alas . . . Fortuna has her sights on me.
Image
Week One Progress! Wondering, thinking, trying not to hurt myself!
Week One Progress! Wondering, thinking, trying not to hurt myself!
Week Two Progress! Wondering, thinking, trying not to hurt myself!
Week Two Progress! Wondering, thinking, trying not to hurt myself!
Week Three Progress! Wondering, thinking, trying not to hurt myself!
Week Three Progress! Wondering, thinking, trying not to hurt myself!

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